I'm pretty much the biggest attention-whore I know.

I'm not afraid to admit it, it's a core part of my personality. It doesn't matter what kind of attention I'm getting. Are you complimenting me? I love it when other people notice how great I am! Or maybe you're insulting me and trying to bring my ego down? Well good luck, because my ego is only being inflated by your public notice of something about me. Am I in trouble? Well, that frozen expression I'm wearing that you probably assume is a look of shock at being caught is actually my O-face.

I'll admit I have trouble keeping friends for long. I'm guessing it's because the better I know someone, the more I feel I have the right to employ their pet peeves just to get a reaction. I have one friend who's never left my side since the first grade though. She's immune to my egging on. What a bitch. I spent every lunch period in high school singing "The Bad Touch" as loud and as off-key as I could to her, causing our table to be under constant glare by a good 200 students, and all she ever did was raise her eyebrow at me while eating her lunch as nonchalantly as a post-lobotomy patient in a freakin' meadow. At first I thought, "maybe she incapable of annoyed reaction...her mother does sleep walk and puts weird shit in the fridge. She's gotta have a tolerance built up or something." Except there was a middle school girl in the neighborhood who attached herself to our group of friends and she could get death threats out of my BFF with no effort what-so-ever. She even got punched in the face once! What the hell is that? I did cartwheels at our job and danced around her while she tried to work and NOTHING.

Where was I even going with this?

Oh yeah. Attention. Its like CRACK.

I'll probably continue this later. Like when I haven't been awake for two days and drinking whiskey cause there's nothing else in my apartment to drink. You know, except for water, but I'm starting to get really sick of that stuff. Also, if I'm going to continue talking about the absurd extremes I've gone through to be noticed, I'm gonna need diagrams.

WAIT. Are you ready for the funniest thing you've ever heard in your entire life? I just decided that "attention-whore" was an understatement...so I'll now refer to myself as an entire attention-ORGY. Ahahahahah!

I know, that was stupid and Im the only one who laughed. Its ok, Im used to it.